We were bummed to hear that Jackson Browne recently sued you over your use of his song "Running on Empty" in a campaign ad. We, The Pink Spiders, think it's uncool that someone would try and mess with your quest for total Republican world domination. Here's the thing: most 18-30-year-olds have no idea who the hell that guy is. I mean, has his song ever been on MTV's Total Request Live? Or an iPod commercial? We think not.
That said, we understand your genius in using contemporary music to reflect your concerns for your constituency, and we figured we could help you out by letting you use one of our ultra-popular smash hits for your next campaign ad. We're young and good-looking, something your campaign could use a dose of.
Take, for example, our new single "Gimme Chemicals." This one speaks directly to many of the issues that your voters care about: a national health care system, medical insurance reform, and especially the skyrocketing costs of the many prescription pharmaceuticals that folks your age are known to take in mass quantities. We all know how much you senior citizens like to party with those "little blue pills," right?
And if that song doesn't catch your attention, there's plenty more from our brand new record, Sweat It Out (for release on Sept. 23), that pretty much speak for themselves in telling voters what to expect from a McCain Presidency: "Here Comes Trouble," "Settling For You," "Stranglehold," "Trust No One," and "Falling With Every Step." Isn't it a crazy coincidence that pretty much ALL of our songs work for your campaign? Wow. See for yourself -- click here to preview all our tracks.
The Pink Spiders and John McCain: it's a match made in heaven. With our help, we think you'll be elected Supreme Emperor of America with no Sweat.
Rock on, (as Paris Hilton said) "old grey-haired dude!"
Love,
"Let's get one thing straight: this isn't a pissing-contest, axe-to-grind kinda thing. It's more of a test in social theory, really.
I mean, obviously we were disappointed to find that- after paying our $20 "application" fee- we were "Not Selected" to perform in a five-day, 250 band, 12 venue festival taking place in our own hometown featuring only "Nashville" bands. Was there really no room for us? My heart did sigh.
The immediate self-doubt hit hard, and there WAS that one miserable night spent wandering the streets with a 40-ouncer and wondering "Are we just not NASHVILLE enough?" and "What will it take to make them love me?"
But this isn't about the blow to our band ego. No sore-loser, cry-baby vendetta thing here, no sir.
It's just that the music scene of late seems a little...well, fascist and dictatorial. It seems a smaller and smaller circle of people have been appointed the taste-makers of town. There seems to be a general directive to market the shit out of your particular pet cause/organization, and ignore everything else. You know... social fascism.
And we, being the good God-fearing Americans that we are, are curious if the candle of Democracy can still stand out in the dark of the Music City night.
Therefore, I am starting a petition today, Tuesday August 5th around 9:00 pm, demanding that The Armed Forces be added to the Next Big Nashville '08 line-up. I will personally collect 600 signatures by this weekend, which I will deliver to you in person. I will collect these signatures face-to-face, door-to-door, bar-to bar. These will be signatures from the people who live, work, play, and enjoy music in Nashville, Tennessee. It will be the voice of the people. The voice of the people who will be purchasing your wristbands.
From there, I will trust your ultimate judgment and ability to do that which is right.
The people will have spoken. The social contract will have been signed. But will you have listened? I expect to find out by Monday afternoon.
In conclusion, I would like to express our solidarity with the little bands in this great big pond that have the balls to continue picking up their guitars and raising their voices, with or without the support of Movement Nashville or the blessing of the Nashville Scene or backing of Music Row. The folks who still just do it for the ever-loving hell of it. I raise my glass to you."
Cheers
